My fantasy WILL CRUSH your fantasy

I was prattling about Twitter one day
Chatting in my catty, catty way
When I was taken by surprise
By a blogging blogger guyyy...
And it got me to avoid work all day!

More to the non-rhyming point, the Beehive's witty and ever-so in touch Mike Osegueda (elsewise known as Oz) threw it out to his tweets (twitter friends) that we should have a Fresno Blogger Bowl-- a blogger's fantasy football League.

I sent him some smart alec-y comment, as is my wont, and he replied: "you wanna represent the CVMoms? Seriously."

With that kind of smack-talk, how could I NOT represent? I'd show him! I'd stuff it in all those bloggers gaping maws the excellence that is my fantasy prowess!

After some detailed explanations that involved a flow chart and a few Venn diagrams, I came to understand that there is fantasy, and there is football, and then there is the space where the two collide.

In this event, I would be picking out several players based on a thing called a DRAFT (which is neither a beer nor an architectural drawing of any sort) that play for REAL teams, and tracking their season-long awesomeness. And then how well my players do compared to the other bloggers' loser players is how my team will crush the will to live out of my opponents.

My preliminary list included several Brazilian players (they always win) and of course the entire Spanish team.

And then I was "informed" that the game based on AMERICAN football. Not the European kind, which is called SOCCER here.

I knew that.

I was just checking to see if THEY knew that.

I have a friend who plays Canadian football which is a lot harder than the American version (fewer downs and more yardage) but the wussed out rules limit me from drafting him either. And that's too bad, because he is a world famous football player in Canada.

And so I will go next week to a meeting of the other bloggers (aka team managers) for the draft.

Based on my amassed sports/football wisdom, I know two things: First, smack talk is the key to total victory. Anyone who's ever seen the classic sports movie knows this to be true. The Karate Kid? All the Right Moves? The Bad News Bears? 'Nuff said. So I will be certain to work on my smack-talking skills. They're right up there with my bow staff and nunchuk skills.

Second, forget all the quarterback hoobidy-doobidy (technical term); if I wan to win, I need a good kicker. And as kicking involves the ankles, I will try to find the player with the biggest ankles. I've already begun scouring Google images.

And so I am set. My homework is ahead of me, I'm clear on my path, and my team-- the StarRainbowUnicorns-- will lead CVMoms to victory!!