Man Has Sex With... Bike

Taking desperation to a whole new level, a man in Scotland was recently sentenced to three years probation for attempting to have sexual relations with his bicycle. Yes. His bicycle.

"Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex."

A spokesperson for the bicycle has called the sentence "a travesty of justice." The bicycle is currently seeking counseling.